knitxcore.: DEAR SANTA: Dani Wants Stuff, TOO!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

DEAR SANTA: Dani Wants Stuff, TOO!


I felt really selfish asking you for all of that stuff and since I KNOW you're reading this, I thought I would take advantage of our budding interpersonal relationship by helping out a few friends. 'Tis the season, right? My pal Dani of Divebars and Graveyards has a few requests. Humor her? Thats what I do.


oh hey, knitXcore readers!! and happy nondenominational winter celebrations!! i'm not really very good at asking for things or making actual wish lists, but robbie has asked me to guest blog about alll the thiiiings i want for christmas this year. so here is my list; santa, i really hope you're listening. i also really hope you can look past my speeding, cursing under my breath at slow people in public places, and my teasing blood on the dance floor fans at's a phase. i promise. i can change.

dani hair

5. a boyfriend...with a post-punk / trad goth / rockabilly haircut. tight pants, decent ass. if you don't listen to the cramps, it's not gonna work out. no std's. no baby mama. no drug addiction(s). no bitch beer. i don't care how much money you make, just buy me pizza every now and then. inquire within...


4. tattoo money / gift certificates!! i'd love to get more work done on my arms, and maybe add on to my chest piece.

3. a tooth fairy who works for free...i need my wisdom teeth out and all i've currently got on hand is whiskey, a pair of pliers, and no dental plan. so.


2. a vintage hearse with an all-velvet interior and a gas conversion that allows me like, 32 miles a gallon. or, better yet, make it a hybrid!! oh yes.


1. news of the death of some never-met, very distant relative, in which i'm told i will inherit a $300/month rent-controlled penthouse apartment in new york city, preferably on or near st. marks. i'll settle for the garment district...i guess.
As you can see, this young cashew has some pretty extreme needs/wants. Is there anything you can do?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Numbers four and two sound like presents I'd like to get too! But I've got no ideas on how to convince Santa ...