knitxcore.: pictures of success.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

pictures of success.

yesterday was miserable.
i think i may have 'seasonal affective disorder'. i'm probably just looking for excuses.
i developed a scale to determine how shitty i felt. 0 is severly depressed, 9 is the maximum amount of happy. i hate double digit numbers. i was at a 3 for no reason. i was probably just trying to look cool/interesting. anxiety.
i am so lame.
my friend sam took pete and i to the conveinence store to buy grapes and cheese. her car had a pile of hoodies in it. i wanted to lay face down in them and go to sleep. i wondered if they would have thought i was weird. facework. i didn't lay down in the hoodies.
on the way back to school, sam put rilo kiley on. i forgot they existed. i was at a 5 now. by the time we parked the car, i didn't feel shitty at all.
i went to class. my comp102 professor is a conservative republican with a lot of opinions. there is an unnattractive couple that sits across from me and holds hands under the desks, a pregnant girl in scrubs, and a 'little person' in the class. it's overwhelming.
the only thing that got me through the remainder of my day was humming 'pictures of success'. well, that and the grapes.

1 comment:

Obsidian Kitten said...

I've been keeping track of my moods on a scale like this for about 8 years. My own scale goes from -3 (morose/despair) to 0 (average, so-so) to +3 (fantastic). [Then again, I'm bipolar so it's good to keep on top of these things.]

The mood can definitely shift over the course of a day and music is absolutely a mood-changer for me as well. (For example, it's not great to listen to too much Nirvana, as much as I love them.)

But I totally get that feeling of wanting nothing more than to lie face-down in a pile of hoodies sometimes!