knitxcore.: MUSEUM OF AWKWARD KNITS; a retrospective.

Friday, August 24, 2012

MUSEUM OF AWKWARD KNITS; a retrospective.

Header bad knitd

Dave is going to take some things to aunt's yard sale tomorrow, so I was digging through my studio/hoarding room and I came across some of my very first (very ugly) knits. Earlier in the week, I was reading a post at Untangling Knots about blog envy and it inspired me to show off some of most awkward FOs. There was a short piece about only seeing what the blogger wants to show you, and how for every good project there's probably a hidden basket of dreadful ones.

Giant Scarf

This scarf was the VERY FIRST thing I ever knitted. I bought the "Stitch N' Bitch" book by Debbie Stoller, and rushed to JoAnn's immediately to buy supplies. I really thought variegated yarn was the coolest thing ever, and the Jiffy Thick and Quick had me wrapping up my first project in a day or two. Unfortunately, I didn't know when to stop. this scarf is around 8 inches wide and 10 feet long. Obviously, I have never worn it anywhere and it's been sitting in the same basket for 8 years.

tassels collage

Excited by new hobby, I wanted everyone to have a hand-knit scarf right away! I went back to JoAnn's and picked up a skein of Homespun. For quite a while I had a disgusting love affair with this stuff. It was nubbly enough to hide mistakes and still thick enough to finish projects quickly. After knitting 2 1/2 - 3 feet in garter stitch, I was kind of over the whole scarf thing. I gave up and made four really awful tassels to class the thing up (or so I thought). I knew it was bad, but I tried to give it to Dave anyway. In a sort of Tim-Gunn-esque fashion, he said something about questioning my taste level. We both giggled and this scarf found a cozy place next to the other one in the basket of doom.

skully collage

Shortly after moving through all of the small projects in Debbie's book, I thought I was ready to take on a sweater. I didn't really understand gauge and I had no idea what my measurements were but I sat on the floor in my new craft room for three days and knitted my little heart out. With two balls of Red Heart Super Saver and size 10.5 needles, I was going to make a sweater. I was so excited to finally have something more than a hat to wear. I didn't think anything of it when carefully mattress stitching the seams closed. The sleeves seemed perfect. I finally "blocked" it (I had no idea that you couldn't block acrylic), waited anxiously for it to dry and finally tried it on. OH MY GOD! What a mess! I have given this sweater away three times. I swear. For some reason, it was in the basket, too.

bobby bear

Finally, I figured out that I should be using better yarn and paying attention to all of the pattern's logistics. I decided that I was good enough to knit a gift for a friend who was having a baby. I ordered some Lamb's Pride online (that's what they used throughout the book, it had to be good) and picked out a pattern for a little teddy bear. Let me tell you, when it was all finished I was so proud! I had learned so much new stuff and finally got some "fancy" yarn; I was on my way. Eventually, someone pointed out the the wool was insanely itchy and that it would probably rip a baby's face off; so this went into the basket too. Even though this project was doomed, I did find one of my favorite yarns ever (for things that don't go against skin). Lamb's Pride has such good colors and the little bit of mohair makes it so magical looking.

And there you have it; some of my worst projects ever! I think I may send them all to the yard sale and if no one buys them, they're off to Goodwill. I have pictures and now, this post, to remember them by. I even uploaded a few pictures to Ravelry to finally take pride in my previously faceless UGH! projects.

So, how do we feel about this little dose of reality? Wanna share one of your worst projects in the comments?

15 comments:

halfwhiteboy said...

haha! the bear's cute, though :)

http://halfwhiteboy.blogspot.com/

Tamara said...

These don't even seem that bad! I mean, the sweater looks a bit wonky just because the sleeves look longer than the body but hey at least you finished it! The thing I have the most shame about is a scarf I tried to make for my boyfriend. I used a space invaders chart and tried to make it double sided... it was fair isle knitting forever (which I had never done before, so it was too tight anyway). I gave up about half way and then moths ate it. The project is still on my ravelry page hahaha.

Andi said...

Your first projects are remarkably similar to mine. It was hard to resist the allure of Thick and Quick and Homespun!

Erin Joy said...

So sweet. My first knit was a little green baby sweater - looking at it now (all garter stitch and knit all in one piece with the sides seamed) I still remember how mystified it all seemed. Gauge? Weight? Fiber? Drape? Wha? It was worn heavily and lives in the handknit drawer. It's ugly as all get out, but I love it so!

luminousvegans said...

I love this post. My first project was a scarf, not unlike yours. It was some kind of nubby green yarn, but I never finished it :p

Lisa said...

I actually quite like your sweater - the colours are nice and I really enjoy the skull and crossbones. Maybe you could make another one? ^_^

Jess Rollar said...

Haha these are to funny! When I taught myself to knit I started making phone cozies like no tomorrow, god they were ugly!

eliza said...

i love this idea for a post! i love seeing your 'flops'! (although, personally, i think that bear is quite cute!). i actually really wish i had a picture of my first scarf... i did at one point... maybe i'll try finding it!

i definitely had a 'homespun phase', too, btw.

Grateful4Crochet said...

This post made me laugh.
And think of the frightening creations I have made, that at the time I thought were fabulous!!
I do like the scratchy bear but, not sure how you could say goodbye to his adorability

Emy Augustus said...

I'm glad you've been so persistent in your efforts! Maybe a future/follow up post should be your best knits! :)

Paula McGrath said...

rick still wears the hat you made him - and that was forever ago! successful knit! awkward rick!

gwenstella said...

I didn't think any of them were ugly/awkward at all! The sweater is really cute!! :)

Jordy said...

Hah, oh goodness: glad I'm not the only one whose first project was variegated yarn too. This was such a fun read, I daresay it's the ascension of all new knitters.

Mandi said...

my love-- one- i want that sweater. it would probably look mad cute on me... two- how come i have a feeling that that ADORABLE teddy bear was supposed to be for jack.. 6 years ago!!?? haha! if it is, i want that too!!xoxo

Cassy said...

I love this post! Ah, the beginning days of the addiction...before the merino fumes get to you and there's no stopping.