Friday, August 24, 2012
MUSEUM OF AWKWARD KNITS; a retrospective.
Dave is going to take some things to aunt's yard sale tomorrow, so I was digging through my studio/hoarding room and I came across some of my very first (very ugly) knits. Earlier in the week, I was reading a post at Untangling Knots about blog envy and it inspired me to show off some of most awkward FOs. There was a short piece about only seeing what the blogger wants to show you, and how for every good project there's probably a hidden basket of dreadful ones.
This scarf was the VERY FIRST thing I ever knitted. I bought the "Stitch N' Bitch" book by Debbie Stoller, and rushed to JoAnn's immediately to buy supplies. I really thought variegated yarn was the coolest thing ever, and the Jiffy Thick and Quick had me wrapping up my first project in a day or two. Unfortunately, I didn't know when to stop. this scarf is around 8 inches wide and 10 feet long. Obviously, I have never worn it anywhere and it's been sitting in the same basket for 8 years.
Excited by new hobby, I wanted everyone to have a hand-knit scarf right away! I went back to JoAnn's and picked up a skein of Homespun. For quite a while I had a disgusting love affair with this stuff. It was nubbly enough to hide mistakes and still thick enough to finish projects quickly. After knitting 2 1/2 - 3 feet in garter stitch, I was kind of over the whole scarf thing. I gave up and made four really awful tassels to class the thing up (or so I thought). I knew it was bad, but I tried to give it to Dave anyway. In a sort of Tim-Gunn-esque fashion, he said something about questioning my taste level. We both giggled and this scarf found a cozy place next to the other one in the basket of doom.
Shortly after moving through all of the small projects in Debbie's book, I thought I was ready to take on a sweater. I didn't really understand gauge and I had no idea what my measurements were but I sat on the floor in my new craft room for three days and knitted my little heart out. With two balls of Red Heart Super Saver and size 10.5 needles, I was going to make a sweater. I was so excited to finally have something more than a hat to wear. I didn't think anything of it when carefully mattress stitching the seams closed. The sleeves seemed perfect. I finally "blocked" it (I had no idea that you couldn't block acrylic), waited anxiously for it to dry and finally tried it on. OH MY GOD! What a mess! I have given this sweater away three times. I swear. For some reason, it was in the basket, too.
Finally, I figured out that I should be using better yarn and paying attention to all of the pattern's logistics. I decided that I was good enough to knit a gift for a friend who was having a baby. I ordered some Lamb's Pride online (that's what they used throughout the book, it had to be good) and picked out a pattern for a little teddy bear. Let me tell you, when it was all finished I was so proud! I had learned so much new stuff and finally got some "fancy" yarn; I was on my way. Eventually, someone pointed out the the wool was insanely itchy and that it would probably rip a baby's face off; so this went into the basket too. Even though this project was doomed, I did find one of my favorite yarns ever (for things that don't go against skin). Lamb's Pride has such good colors and the little bit of mohair makes it so magical looking.
And there you have it; some of my worst projects ever! I think I may send them all to the yard sale and if no one buys them, they're off to Goodwill. I have pictures and now, this post, to remember them by. I even uploaded a few pictures to Ravelry to finally take pride in my previously faceless UGH! projects.
So, how do we feel about this little dose of reality? Wanna share one of your worst projects in the comments?